If you know me well, you should know that unwanted events follows me. You might say just its just plain bad luck, but I say its not. The Universe is going against me.
But thats another story. Now, I'm talking about accidents.
BICYCLE ACCIDENTS :
1. I was using my sister's bike. She said I could ride it for only 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, I continued to ride it anyway. My sister did not really mind, but my maid, who heard her telling me that I could only ride for 5 minutes, took it seriously.
She(my maid) started scolding me and shouting at me telling me to get off the bike. I ignored her and continued my biking. Suddenly, she stood in front of me with her arms spreaded like an eagle's wings.
I could not stop my bike so I turned left and fell into a drain.
2. I was cycling down a very very steep hill and the road ended. I banged into a inanimate van. BANG!. Felt a little bit dizzy but I got up and cycled away.
3. My bike had a basket. So I conviniently threw everything in there. Including my handphone. One fine day, after a game of basketball, my phone rang.
because it was in my basket, I had to lean forwards to grab it. PHEEEEEEEEWWWW!. Fell into a large drain....luckily, my phone is unharmed. Soon, some guys came to help.
They pulled me and my bike up. I thanked them and waved goodbye before cycling towards home.
4. I was cycling fast, I was late for something(I dont remember). I entered a grassy area and HOHOHOHO!. I fell on soft grass. However, my shin bled. Er Whey and Andy was there, so they helped me up and sent me home.
That wound resulted in 5 painful stitches.
5. Andy and Er Whey crossed the huge road. As usual, I am left behind because I suck. I waited, and waited. Er Whey and Andy was getting further. Thus, I impatiently cycled across.
PUP!. I got banged by a motorcycle that was going around 60km/h. I literally flew. Perhaps, if I had a cup of coffee, I could finish it before landing. Bleeding, I got up and dragged my bike out of the way of passing cars.
Er Whey and Andy came to help. They said they just heard a loud bang and saw my bike and whatever that was in my basket flying. I left my bike there cause It was totally crushed and they helped me get back home.
When I came back 30 minutes after, my crushed bike was gone.
6. So, my dad bought me a cool, expensive new bike. Foolishly, I cycled downhill fast one fine day. There was a speed bump ahead. I did not care and ran into the speed bumb and thus, it acted as a ramp and I flew.
I landed safely. Owh how lucky I was. You really think so? A car was reversing up ahead. So, I braked. That made my back tire to be lifted up because of the sudden stop and I flew.
My bike gracefully did a 270degree frontflip and I landed on my face. Then, I got on my bike, and cycled away.
7. This is totally unrelated to accidents, but my aunt got me a new bike. Why? Because my cool, expensive new bike was stolen. I suspect that my maid who had ran away with my only ORIGINAL XboX game, "Kung Fu Panda" and a sponge cake did the crime.
That maid walked past my house 6 months later, holding a baby in her hand. I was like "WTH! She ran away from my house 6 months ago, why got baby wan."
You get the picture.
8. This morning, I got hit by a motorcycle...again! But this time it was cooler. I did not really remember the details of my crash, but when it was over, I got up and stood on my feet, posing as though I had just survived a zombie apocalypse or something.
The motorcyclist stopped at the roadside looking seriously injured. I dragged my bike off the road and went to check on him. First, he was quiet. But after apologising to him for a few minutes, he started cursing and stuff. Gosh, was I scared.
Apparantly, his leg hurt. After apologising for what seemed like an hour, he let me go. He was quite kind. He did not punch me in the face or sue me. So, I continued on my journey, on my bike.
9. Er Whey's bike got pawned. This afternoon, he parked his bike at the side of 7-Eleven innocently. Then, a car came and banged his bike before dashing away. sad.
ASS ACCIDENTS :
CROTCH ACCIDENTS :
PARTY ACCIDENTS :
Everytime there is a party, things will happen to me. Bad things.
The ones I remember,
I knew how to ride a bike since I was 7. But because I did not ride it often, it got rusty and when I was 10 and sat on it, lalalala, it broke.
Then, when I was 14, I got a new bike. Ever since then, I had at least 10 "accidents" and changed bikes twice.
Now, I'm about to tell YOU the ones I remember.
Then, when I was 14, I got a new bike. Ever since then, I had at least 10 "accidents" and changed bikes twice.
Now, I'm about to tell YOU the ones I remember.
1. I was using my sister's bike. She said I could ride it for only 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, I continued to ride it anyway. My sister did not really mind, but my maid, who heard her telling me that I could only ride for 5 minutes, took it seriously.
She(my maid) started scolding me and shouting at me telling me to get off the bike. I ignored her and continued my biking. Suddenly, she stood in front of me with her arms spreaded like an eagle's wings.
I could not stop my bike so I turned left and fell into a drain.
2. I was cycling down a very very steep hill and the road ended. I banged into a inanimate van. BANG!. Felt a little bit dizzy but I got up and cycled away.
3. My bike had a basket. So I conviniently threw everything in there. Including my handphone. One fine day, after a game of basketball, my phone rang.
because it was in my basket, I had to lean forwards to grab it. PHEEEEEEEEWWWW!. Fell into a large drain....luckily, my phone is unharmed. Soon, some guys came to help.
They pulled me and my bike up. I thanked them and waved goodbye before cycling towards home.
4. I was cycling fast, I was late for something(I dont remember). I entered a grassy area and HOHOHOHO!. I fell on soft grass. However, my shin bled. Er Whey and Andy was there, so they helped me up and sent me home.
That wound resulted in 5 painful stitches.
5. Andy and Er Whey crossed the huge road. As usual, I am left behind because I suck. I waited, and waited. Er Whey and Andy was getting further. Thus, I impatiently cycled across.
PUP!. I got banged by a motorcycle that was going around 60km/h. I literally flew. Perhaps, if I had a cup of coffee, I could finish it before landing. Bleeding, I got up and dragged my bike out of the way of passing cars.
Er Whey and Andy came to help. They said they just heard a loud bang and saw my bike and whatever that was in my basket flying. I left my bike there cause It was totally crushed and they helped me get back home.
When I came back 30 minutes after, my crushed bike was gone.
6. So, my dad bought me a cool, expensive new bike. Foolishly, I cycled downhill fast one fine day. There was a speed bump ahead. I did not care and ran into the speed bumb and thus, it acted as a ramp and I flew.
I landed safely. Owh how lucky I was. You really think so? A car was reversing up ahead. So, I braked. That made my back tire to be lifted up because of the sudden stop and I flew.
My bike gracefully did a 270degree frontflip and I landed on my face. Then, I got on my bike, and cycled away.
7. This is totally unrelated to accidents, but my aunt got me a new bike. Why? Because my cool, expensive new bike was stolen. I suspect that my maid who had ran away with my only ORIGINAL XboX game, "Kung Fu Panda" and a sponge cake did the crime.
That maid walked past my house 6 months later, holding a baby in her hand. I was like "WTH! She ran away from my house 6 months ago, why got baby wan."
You get the picture.
8. This morning, I got hit by a motorcycle...again! But this time it was cooler. I did not really remember the details of my crash, but when it was over, I got up and stood on my feet, posing as though I had just survived a zombie apocalypse or something.
The motorcyclist stopped at the roadside looking seriously injured. I dragged my bike off the road and went to check on him. First, he was quiet. But after apologising to him for a few minutes, he started cursing and stuff. Gosh, was I scared.
Apparantly, his leg hurt. After apologising for what seemed like an hour, he let me go. He was quite kind. He did not punch me in the face or sue me. So, I continued on my journey, on my bike.
9. Er Whey's bike got pawned. This afternoon, he parked his bike at the side of 7-Eleven innocently. Then, a car came and banged his bike before dashing away. sad.
ASS ACCIDENTS :
1. As far as I remembered, two girls "accidently" smacked my ass....both on different times, different girls. Both of them, after smacking my ass, perhaps even groping around a little, acted as if nothing had happened.
2. My friend whom I dare not tell his name, once "accidently" smacked a woman teacher's ass soo hard, she did not realise that her ass had just got smacked. He told me it was an "accident". Yeah right.
2. My friend whom I dare not tell his name, once "accidently" smacked a woman teacher's ass soo hard, she did not realise that her ass had just got smacked. He told me it was an "accident". Yeah right.
CROTCH ACCIDENTS :
1. For reasons I could not remember, a girl I did not know once kicked me in the crotch. Owch.
2. I used to be active in Taekwondo. When I was small, the teacher used to ask me to spar with girls for reasons I can not state. Also, for reasons I dare not tell, I often got hit in the crotch while sparring with the girls.
Accident or not, it was excruciating.
*No.1 was not during sparring*
2. I used to be active in Taekwondo. When I was small, the teacher used to ask me to spar with girls for reasons I can not state. Also, for reasons I dare not tell, I often got hit in the crotch while sparring with the girls.
Accident or not, it was excruciating.
*No.1 was not during sparring*
PARTY ACCIDENTS :
Everytime there is a party, things will happen to me. Bad things.
The ones I remember,
1. It was Riyal's birthday party. Well, it was not really a party, we just went out. Anyway, me, Hazim, Adri and Riyal went to eat in the food court.
I bought a cup of iced lemon tea and a plate of chicken rice. We found a good seat and sat down while eating quite happily. Suddenly, with great wisdom, I spilled my drink all over my chicken rice.
I ate it anyway. Tasted quite nice.
2. Hadi's party. Spilled syrup all over my 7B Shirt. Indeed it is waterproof :D
3. "Accidently" got too close to Fawwaz's neice. Got pawned by her. I have witnesses!!!!!
I bought a cup of iced lemon tea and a plate of chicken rice. We found a good seat and sat down while eating quite happily. Suddenly, with great wisdom, I spilled my drink all over my chicken rice.
I ate it anyway. Tasted quite nice.
2. Hadi's party. Spilled syrup all over my 7B Shirt. Indeed it is waterproof :D
3. "Accidently" got too close to Fawwaz's neice. Got pawned by her. I have witnesses!!!!!
Actually, there are many more accidents in my life. Perhaps if my life were made into a movie, I would win a Grammy. :D
